Posted by Ted on November 01, 2001 at 23:33:25:
Hey everyone...I hope you'll excuse me while I vent for a moment. Here's my situation:
I am two months into my first-year performance at a university I'll call 'school A'. My choice was basically between school A and another university, school B. School B is far from home, School A is close. I had a very difficult time deciding between schools, and put off my decision until the last minute. I ended up having a lesson with the teacher at each school and comparing the two. In the end I came to school A...the distance played a large part because I wasn't really ready to move 600km away. (not that far, I know, but still far enough). But what about the teachers?
WELL...
Teacher A, my current teacher, is currently playing only in a medium-sized orchestra, although he played in a major orchestra for quite a number of years. He is fairly young and is not very well known in the tuba community. His students and friends praise him as an excellent teacher and player.
Teacher B is an established professional in a world-class orchestra and has a reputation as a first-class teacher and performer.
BUT...
After one lesson with each, I felt that while teacher B was evidently a better player than teacher A, his teaching method seemed forced. Teacher A seemed to me to be a natural teacher and communicator. I felt I got more out of my lesson with teacher A than with teacher B. Furthermore, I felt somehow that teacher A was more supportive.
SO...
I decided to go to school A.
BUT...
My decision may have been biased by the emotional factor of the distance (see above).
AND...
Once I arrived at school A, some of the upper-year students told me, withouth knowing anything about the teachers, that school B was a much better music school in general and I was nuts to have come here to school A.
This planted the seed of doubt in my mind... now I am wondering if I should have gone to school B EVEN THOUGH I think teacher A is terrific and I feel I am improving a great deal. Deep down I can't convince myself that I made the right decision and I can't help but wonder if I would be improving even more at school B. If I wanted to switch to teacher B, then I could, theoretically, either transfer into school B for second year, or go to school B for a master's in performance after I finish my undergrad here at school A.
IN THE MEANTIME...
I try my best to crack the whip and tell myself that no teacher will get me into an orchestra if I don't put in the time practising myself, and that if I work hard then I can still make a living no matter who my teacher is.
BUT...
The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it?
SO...
What do you all think? What can I do to shake these self-doubts?
Thanks for listening...I'm not posting my real name or e-mail (which has my name in it :p) because I wish to remain anonymous.
Ted