Re: TubaChristmas Top 10 List


[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ TubeNet BBS ] [ FAQ ]

Posted by ken riddle on December 16, 2003 at 19:03:07:

In Reply to: TubaChristmas Top 10 List posted by Kenneth Sloan on December 15, 2003 at 09:24:05:

1) Sharps and flats are for graduate students only.
2) If you lay a clam, perform The French Horn Water Ritual; examine all valve slides, remove especially esoteric ones and empty them violently. Remember, YOU are the Artist...it HAD to be the horn's fault.
3) Music? We don't need no stinkin' music.
4) Help the conductor with tempi; he probably has forgotten them since last year.
5) Better yet, sit behind the Christmas tree, where you won't be distracted by his increasingly frantic gestures in your direction.
6) If you've brought a friend, equally divide the responsibilities for Wrong Notes and Dynamics Inattention.
7) Make kissing noises through your mouthpiece at the pretty blonde in the audience while the "conductor" is attempting to edify the masses.
8) Four words: Tuned at the Factory.
9) Alec Wilder wrote these arrangements on a plane, without benefit of a keyboard. Help him out retroactively.
10) After the gig, tell the conductor you can't wait until next year.


Follow Ups: