Posted by Joe S. on December 07, 2002 at 20:01:58:
In Reply to: Marching horns for Tuba Christmas posted by Lew on December 07, 2002 at 15:04:59:
I think the main problem is lack of organization. I think we should coordinate the TubaChristmases across the world to occur simultaneously and that all TubaeChristmasses should play exactly the same pieces at the same time, so when NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, NPR, and all of the other major networks cover this event worldwide, viewers may flip channels and the music will be seamless.
As to instrumentation, I think that tubas, sousaphones, euphoniums, and baritones should be allowed, but tenor horn playing should be charged an extra fee, particularly if the instrument is "low pitch". Further, "double-bell euphoniums" (which resemble "baritones" and "tenor horns", but not "euphoniums") should have to register as probationary members, due to the suspect nature of these instruments and their players. Mirafone (oval) euphoniums should be excluded, because, well, they just should. They harm the environment and kill people, just like SUV's do.
NO HIRSBRUNNER INSTRUMENTS may be used in the rehearsal (performance OK) because anyone who shows up with one of these is just doing so do be a jack-ass.
Finally, wearing a Santa hat should be against the Rules because, after all, this should not be viewed as a sacred experience, but rather a secular one. Just in the same way, when HappyCimbassoEaster* rolls around every year, I don't think all those serpent players in Rochefeller Plaza should show up in Easter Bunny costumes - just "too" religious and it offends folks, just like laughing at fat people playing the tuba offends the fat people who are acting silly playing their tubas - which reminds me...
This final point should already be understood by all: Absolutely no one who is the least bit overweight should be allowed to participate, as this merely perpetuates absurd stereotypes.
[Feel free to cut and paste this article and send it to your elected politicians.]
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*Dammit Jay , DO NOT take your friggin' CIMBASSO to TUBAChristmas. If the TUBA is NOT ALLOWED to be played in music marked "CIMBASSO" the _)*(^%+)& CIMBASSO is ABSOLUTELY PROHIBITED from MerryTUBAChristmasses!!!!!!!!!!!!!