Posted by Ken Sturgeon on October 04, 2001 at 07:11:19:
In Reply to: Adrenalin posted by Rick Denney on October 03, 2001 at 15:17:14:
I can attest to many situations where my nerves acted up like this. Especially, when the conductor singles you out before you have to play it. I think many of the comments below make very good sense, especially about playing for yourself. I have tried "playing" for someone else i.e. my wife, the conductor, my parents, or (_______fill in the blank.)and found myself getting so caught up in trying to please them, I would be overcome by the emotion/fear of letting them down. I know it may sound selfish to play for yourself, but when I played and focused just on enjoying the music personally, my nerves were at a minimum. As long as you have adequately prepared and practiced, you know the music so let yourself enjoy the music. I thought that I would feel guilty for doing this, but it is so very true that if the performer doesn't enjoy the music, neither will the listener. For example, I have noticed my playing/performance took a nose dive when I was concentrating too much on the sheet of paper in front of me. Trying to look ahead at too many details that I planned in the music and not concentrating enough on where I was presently playing. Just about every person can pickup on a person who isn't enjoying what they're doing from their body language. This is ever more pronounced when your playing a musical instrument. I'm still working on this problem and probably will be for the rest of my life. To counter this, I like to think about the concept of "listening to your minds ear." If you already KNOW the piece, it's already in your mind. Your mind's "ear" knows what it's supposed to sound like, so have confidence in what you know YOU know and play for enjoyment of the music. Your situation was a bit different in that you were sight reading. This does make things much more difficult especially if you don't know the piece. However, as your sight reading skills become sharper you will more and more be able to concentrate on the music and not the "ink." I hope this helps some and I can definitely empathize.
Ken