Posted by As a dad... on November 11, 2003 at 14:32:53:
In Reply to: How can i make my parents realize....... posted by hopefull harry on November 10, 2003 at 21:09:01:
... IF you've been consistently dedicated to your playing, AND IF you've been reliable in following the house rules, being home by curfew, keeping your grades up, staying out of trouble, etc., AND IF you keep your appearance tidy enough to be employable, AND IF the money were readily available, I'd go along with the following proposal:
Dad,
I want to propose something to you, but I don't wish to put you on the spot. I hope that you will give my idea full consideration.
After much thought, I've realized that it's really not your responsibility to provide me with a tuba. I am looking for a job in order to earn the money; however, there is too little time remaining for me to earn sufficient funds before my High School graduation, at which time a school instrument will no longer be available to me. I was wondering if you would consider loaning me $3000 dollars at the end of this school year, so that I can purchase a quality used tuba, provided that:
1) I earn and save a minimum of $1000 dollars toward the purchase.
2) My private instructor certifies that my debt to you could READILY be repaid at any time by selling the instrument.
3) While earning the money, I will maintain my current grades and practice level.
During the coming summer, and every summer thereafter until my debt to you is paid in full, I will work a minimum of 40 hours per week and repay to you 50% of my earnings. At the current minimum wage, that would be a minimum of $500 per month, two and a half months of each year.
Since having this instrument would allow me to pursue scholarship money on the tuba, I also propose that any scholarship money earned with my ability and this (your!) tuba might be shared equally, by applying 50% of the scholarship toward my debt.
Of course, if at any time before the debt is repaid I fail to fulfill my obligations, I would fully expect you to reclaim and sell the instrument to recoup your loss. I understand that borrowing money is an adult activity, and I will be expected to discharge my responsibility in a mature and responsible way, or suffer the consequences.
Regardless of your answer, thank you for the support you've given me as a student musician. Through music I've made friendships and memories that will last me the rest of my life.
Then, if Dad agrees, be CERTAIN that you fulfill EVERY promise on you make. I have a daughter who is 20 right now, and who complains that we don't trust her; but she has created that mistrust by failing to meet her commitments to us. If you are unable to fulfill your part of the deal, don't try to renegotiate or make your Dad call you and ask for the horn; deliver it, shined and ready to sell, with your apologies.
If you're not ready to do that, then you should forget the whole thing.
Joe Baker, who cautions against expecting the old man to be so impressed that he'll give you the money.