Posted by Elizabeth K. on June 24, 2001 at 15:37:27:
Okay, I know this has to have been discussed before, but I feel this situation is somewhat unique and is really confusing me and tearing me apart.
I am currently in graduate school. Until now I have not been able to focus too well, so my playing has been stuck on this huge plateau. Now, I think I have broken it, with the help of some awesome teachers. I have assessed the situation I am in academically, and found I am not happy.
My school has some great things to offer, but unfortunately I feel that it isn't enough. I have a terrific teacher, and in fact he is responsible for my breaking out of this slump. However, I can't really come up with any reasons other than my teacher to stay. I can't find any people willing to put in long hours on extracurricular type stuff (i.e. early mornings, excerpt work, etc.), there simply aren't enough people to get chamber ensembles together, and I can't get any teaching experience because I am not getting any kind of assistantship. The money is the least of my concerns to be honest, I think that if I am going to pay out for my education, I want some experiences in return. Again, this is not to say I think I am "too good", I just want to become better! If I don't get any sort of scholarship at all, I'll be fine if I can be in some chamber ensembles and find one other person to share what I love to do!
I am not a top player, but I am willing to work really hard to at least fight my way into another school. As I said before, I am not concerned with money. I figure I have one shot at my Master's degree, why use it up without gaining the kind of experience I want and need as someone who aspires to be a pro someday? So I'd like to take a year off, practice my tail off for 5 months, and then take some auditions. I want to do the best I can, and I think with some work i can definitely do better than I am at the moment. Does anyone have experience with this, or opinions?
Thanks so very much for reading! This has been really hard to deal with.