Re: Negative thoughts - help!


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Posted by wow... on December 01, 2001 at 22:08:22:

In Reply to: Negative thoughts - help! posted by John Tuba on December 01, 2001 at 19:59:52:

... you have summed up some of the exact thoughts I have had lately!
I recently just gained more confidence in my playing, and a lot of that is thanks to some hard work and a great teacher. I am at this crossroad too, but I am graduating in June... but still I wonder, what is the next step?
I have the option of going on, or doing something more "practical" (i.e. more school), but either way, I have to ask myself how to best use my talents. I have chosen to push off "life" (i.e. husband, children, house, etc.) but sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it?

I think about it, I'm 25, and have nothing to really show for anything except the improvements I've made in music. I've lost basically all my friends, relationships, etc. because I have become crazy about what I do. So what about life? I'm faced with making more musical improvements, or say going to law school, which has always been my "other" passion next to music. (Fighting for what I believe in and all that...) But then I think, I believe in myself and my tuba, so should I fight for that? And at the same time I question the validity of a living at another "vocation" with the tuba as a serious avocation... this could work?

I don't have a decision for myself yet, but my best advice as someone struggling right now is to look inside and do every possible thing you can do to try to make a living with your music before giving it up entirely, this is the stage I am at. (Perhaps I have answered my own question!)

I've done a lot of rambling, but I just thought I would share some of my thoughts. Good luck to you, I'm with you!


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