Posted by An Amateur on August 07, 2000 at 14:08:29:
In Reply to: Burnt out posted by fried on August 05, 2000 at 15:36:50:
As an amateur tubist, I can only relate to your situation by comparing it to my profession. Even though it's not an artistic pursuit, corporate politics and purely commercial concerns don't seem any easier to take, and being overwhelmed by them can make anyone, I mean *anyone*, an unproductive cynic. My point is this: Take solace from the fact that few people on this planet are given a job to do that avoids occasional overwhelming B.S., and every line of work has a healthy share of what Vaughan Williams called "doing your stodge."
So, how do we keep from hating our work (or, more importantly, hating ourselves) when the non-producers try to ruin it for us? I don't have many answers. But one thing I do is compartmentalize. I put the administrivia in a compartment, and only open that compartment when there's something useful to be done. Otherwise, I banish it. Likewise, I put work in general in a compartment when I go home (or when I slip into Tubenet for a break). I know it sounds trite, and you'll hear lots of cliches. Perhaps one of them will resonate and help.
But don't think that amateur musicians don't also burn out on music. I've done this twice, once during college, when the other options of life attracted my full attention, and once again a few years ago, when a job change meant so much travel that I could not commit to regular rehearsals. As hard as it is for a pro to maintain personal high standards, it's even harder for an amateur who must not only overcome extremely limited practice time but must also overcome what is usually a much larger talent gap. The only difference is that it doesn't have so many economic consequences, though it may have emotional or life quality consequences that seem just as severe.
Maybe it will help to realize that this crisis you face is the rule rather than the exception. Most folks get through it somehow, many by following another simple cliche: Pick the next right thing for you to do, and then do it. Don't think about the consequences, or the grand plan, at least not while you are burned out. Just do things one at a time.