Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tuba Colleges


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Posted by Rick Denney on April 17, 2001 at 09:15:54:

In Reply to: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tuba Colleges posted by Aubrey Foard on April 16, 2001 at 23:57:30:

Respect is the issue here. In a free forum that allows anonymity, only mutual respect prevents the descent into useless chaos.

One of the undeniable and inevitable characteristics of an Internet forum is a high percentage of the answers address a different question than the one asked. As a result of this fact of life, those who hope to benefit from forums like these need to recognize that their question is a surrogate for perhaps thousands of questions that don't get asked. Consequently, people who have some wisdom, or think they do, that bears even indirectly on the question at hand will offer that wisdom. If it is not useful to the original poster, then he or she should graciously realize that it might be just what another reader who is in a similar circumstance might need.

When the information is free, it is worth exactly what you paid for it. If it helps, great. If it doesn't, you at least didn't make much investment. Don't take it personally. Take some advice from AA, a group of people in desperate need of what often turns out to be bad free advice: Take what you need and leave the rest.

I agree that many of the folks who piled on the original poster were showing as little respect for him as he was showing, and that is also wrong. I tried to complain about the behavior but still show respect, and I considered a post of my own asking people to stop piling on. But it is a fact of life that what you send out often comes back in kind. If you find that people are always yelling at you, then maybe it's time for a close inspection in the mirror. I've also learned this lesson the hard way.

I've said this before: The original poster does not own the conversation. If it goes in directions he doesn't like, then he has to start again. But he should not be angry--it isn't his conversation. If you are standing among a group of friends at a party, and the conversation turns away from your topic to someone else's, then you will seem like a jerk if you complain about that fact.

Finally, to Aubrey, you do know the people on this forum if you read it regularly. You know them better than some of their real-life aquaintances, because you know what they think and not just what they look like. I've met dozens of people with whom I became friends online, and though I'm often completely surprised by how they look or the sound of their voice, I'm not at all surprised by what kind of people they are.

To the original poster: Spend some time in the archives. There have been dozens of threads talking about the pluses and minuses of all the big tuba colleges. Then ask specific questions to fill in the gaps, and you will get the answers you seek. But if you ask for value opinions, especially the kinds of opinions that will steer you away from a bozo, then don't be surprised if you have to filter out a lot of noise.

Rick "take what you need and leave the rest" Denney


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